NiaJean walks into her bedroom after taking Sage and her friends to the movies. She decides to rest a bit before dropping the girls off for a sleep over. She looks at the time on her cell phone and for some reason her stomach is churning because she feels like something is missing. It’s getting very late in the day at this point and she can’t seem to relax so she sits down at her desk, turns on her computer and begins researching. She stops researching for a moment to start writing her blog. She types.
It’s a Saturday afternoon and I haven’t heard
from him at all. I’m not sure what I
should think of it. I know he has to
visit his kids and make sure he takes care of his fatherly duties but I was
hoping I was somewhere in his agenda.
I’m starting think maybe this isn’t the best situation for me. It’s not because of the kids or the fact that
he’s working on getting his second career going. It’s the fact that we don’t seem to have a
great line of communication. In order
for something to work, communication is the key, at least in my opinion. If that breaks down then what else is
left?
She stops tying and speaks out loud but tries
not to talk too loud where the girls can hear her in the next room. “He’s the one who said we were going to spend
more time together, not me!” She takes a
deep breath and continues typing.
Maybe I’m being a little too sensitive. The day isn’t even over yet.
She begins browsing through her computer once
again and comes across a couple of sites that outline a list of “Don’ts” of
relationships and dating so she clicks on one and begins reading. She becomes curious and searches for more
similar sites. Each site has its own
list of don’ts and she meticulously reads each list. She begins contemplating the ten “don’ts” that
are most important to her.
She reads out loud, “Ten Deadly Dating Don’ts.” She sits back in her chair and contemplates
this thought. “Hmm, interesting.” She says to herself. She continues typing.
In the midst of me typing my blog I decided
to do a little research. I wanted to
figure out where women go wrong in the dating department and I came across a
couple of lists. Apparently there are a
number of mistakes women make when it comes to dating but I think ten is enough
to focus on, at least the ones I feel are important. So I want to share them. I have to be honest, I can’t say that I have avoided
these mistakes in the past or even recently but here we go. The “10 Deadly Dating Don’ts” that I think women
should avoid while dating are…
1) Don’t Talk
About Your Ex.
There’s nothing worse than
talking about your Ex on a first date. A
man wants to know he is your focus of attention at least for that one night.
Now that you have his attention make sure you
give him your attention by listening to what he is saying and partaking in the
conversation. Remember there may be
times when the conversation gets a little dull and that’s the time to change
the subject and try something new but don’t talk too much. Its ok to have a few subjects in mind before
you go on the date, just don’t sound rehearsed if you have to use them.
3) Don’t Be So
Caught Up in Self.
Me, me, me is not
what a man wants to hear the entire night so make sure the conversation’s not all about YOU. It is ok to be confident
but try
balancing the conversation by asking him some questions about himself. Now it doesn’t have to turn into an interview
but you spouting off your resume during the entire date isn’t the answer at
all. According dating professionals this
is a huge turn off for men, especially if they’re looking for a serious
relationship. A little mystery never
hurts.
‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ can go a long
way. Don’t forget those simple words make
anyone feel appreciated. Mind your
manners when you’re ordering, eating and even leaving. Believe it or not, it’s a turn-on for men to be
in the presence of a woman with manners.
Whatever you
do, don’t bring up talk of marriage or having babies on the first date. It’s ok to be enthusiastic about your future
but remember, it is a first date so I’m sure you’re not in love yet. Don’t be so eager.
No matter how
attractive a man is, I don’t think it’s a good idea to sleep with him on the
first date. Ladies just because he
bought your dinner doesn’t mean you have to pay him back in the bed. You know that can borderline as something else,
just saying.
While there are
still a few men who insist on paying, times have changed and they appreciate it
when a woman at least offers to pay.
After a while he might be turned off if you never offer or at least
reach for your purse.
Being too clingy or needy is a big turn off. Don’t try so hard. Give the man a chance to like you, intrigue
him. A man wants to feel like he’s
getting a prize that he has won and it’s up to you to remind him. Take your time and keep your options open and
don’t make yourself so available, it’s ok to miss a day or two of emailing, calling
or texting. Remember, you don’t always
have to say “yes”.
Since a lot of women think they
know what a man wants and what he’s thinking, we miss something. We don’t give them credit for wanting more than
just looks and a lot of times women go over board to get his attention. They’ll do or wear unusual or outrageous
things that aren’t even a part of their character just to please him. Men can see right through the fake you and
will get tired of it eventually.
The
most important thing to remember is to make sure you have fun on the first date!
Women have a need to feel “safe” before
anything else can even happen but in order to make things happen there are some
mistakes we need to learn to avoid. No
one is perfect so we shouldn’t be looking for perfection in anyone. I know at some point we want to be considered
“girlfriend” or “wifey” material so maybe we should take heed to a couple of the
tips the next time we go out on a date. These
tips may not be for everyone but I think I’m going to give some of them a try.
NiaJean
leans back in her chair and reviews her “10 Deadly Dating Don’ts”. Then says to herself, “I
just wish I knew about these ‘Don’ts’ sooner…”
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