Dating Contemplation...

NiaJean Rose is a beautiful athletic five eight build with long shapely legs and smooth caramel colored skin.  She is what you would call “a good catch”, whatever that means.  Yes, she can cook, is well educated, has a decent job, her own car, a nice place to live that she pays for and is beautiful but those are all the aesthetics.  Don’t forget that she is beautiful inside as well but is she exciting enough or adventurous enough or whatever a man is looking for that makes her “wifey” material?  She would like to think so but here she is again in dating contemplation.

NiaJean is sitting on her bed staring at her cellphone.  “Nothing!”  She thinks to herself, “Maybe I should restart it or maybe something is wrong with it.”  She continues staring at it as though she is willing it to be broken as to give her an excuse why it’s not ringing.  Let’s face it, it’s a new phone, there’s nothing wrong with it besides the fact that it’s not ringing.  She grabs her phone, leans back on her pillow and begins scrolling through the feeds on FaceBook in an effort to detract her thoughts.  She can feel the depression setting in as she realizes…he’s lost interest already.  She takes a deep breath and continues scrolling on FaceBook.  She sits up on her bed and begins analyzing the situation.  She begins talking out loud to herself as she tries to gather her thoughts as to what could have gone wrong.

“I think I stepped into another situation where I got excited too fast.  I mean, it wasn’t even a month and I’m already thinking about our future together; marriage, buying a house, blending our families, the world of us.”  She shakes her head and continues talking to herself, “that’s too fast Nia, way too fast.”  

She picks up her cellphone and looks at the calendar.  She can’t believe this is happening a month to the day from when they first met.  Why should she really be surprised?  She gave up the goods already.  Guilt begins to set in and more depression follows and she begins talking to herself again. 

“All of my friends tried to tell me, make sure you have the upper hand.  You have to change the outcome if you want something to last but what do I do?  I get so caught up in the feel good of the moment that I forget there’s always a “game” involved in this dating stuff.”

She met him on a dating site where people go for a hookup and she expected to find her future husband?  She thinks to herself, “ok, there is no need for me to feel aggrieved, my friend Yvette met the man of her dreams on this same site.  I can’t blame the site or the person.  I’m the only one responsible for the outcome.  If I would have taken my time and waited maybe things would be different.  I’m just so bad at the dating game.  In all honesty I really shouldn’t be surprised because I’m the one who doesn’t give the person a chance to know me first.  I just jump right in and wonder why things don’t work out the way I want them too.  I vow to keep the goods next time.”  She gets up from the bed and looks in the mirror and begins examining herself.

She takes a deep breath and tries not to cry but becomes angry.  “Damn it, men are such assholes!  Men aren’t shit but dogs that only care about themselves.  They could care less about a good women or what she stands for.  I know what it is!  They can’t handle a strong woman who’s about something.  That’s what it is!”  She shakes her head and continues examining herself in the mirror as she tries to justify her statement.  She pauses and thinks about what she just said and realizes she doesn’t even believe her own statement.  “No, no I’m not going to do that.  I’m not one of those bitter women who walks around bashing men.  Those kind of women need to go deeper into themselves and figure out what or who really hurt them.  That usually stems deeper than a man they dated for a month who turned out to be an asshole.  Oh, I know I have issues but that’s not one of them.”

She walks back over to the bed, picks up her cellphone and looks at the time.  She realizes she has been having this pity party of hers for about three hours now and the phone still hasn’t rung.  “What the Hell?”  She screams at the phone as if it’s the phone’s fault for her feeling the way she does at this moment.  “I just don’t know the formula to this dating shit and I damn sure can’t figure out how to change it.”  She begins going on a rant. 

“There are so many women out there that just want a good relationship with consistency and honesty but it’s just not there, it’s not there!  No matter how hard we try, the results are always the same.  Something leads to nothing!  I knew this would happen.  I knew it!  I could feel him drifting.  I no longer get the good morning greeting text or even the midday flirt call.  Ok, so what it was only a day, but it happened.  Oh yeah but I do still get the late night, “are you coming over text?”  We can’t forget that.  A guy can make a decision that you’re not his life partner but will always keep you as his bed partner!  Ok, so that only happened one time and yes I did tell him I was coming over but so what, it happened!  If I’m such a good catch then I wouldn’t be in this situation once again.  He is not that busy to where he can’t at least call!”

There is a distinct ring on her cellphone that she designated for one person.  She looks down at her cellphone and a picture flashes on her screen.  

It’s him…